Drowning For You
by The Queen Of Disaster
Summary: SSHG AU. 'I won't watch you disintegrate'


Hi guys,

Sorry for a new story I promise I haven't abandoned 'Hell Is Other People'. It's just that, that story is going to be full of angst and I find myself wanting to do a sort of romance story so this is a way of doing that (I think). I have 'Hell Is Other People' all planed out, and this sorta came out of no-where. I haven't given it too much thought as to where I will take it. The story is very AU, because Dumbledore, Fred Weasley and probably a whole array of other characters didn't die. Another thing I should mention is that I write the characters the way I want to, they may not be cannon so you need to bare that in mind. I hope you enjoy the story! It will contain drug use, so if you can't bare that sort of stuff then please don't read.

Thank you,

Becca

* * *

><p>'GET OUT OF MY WAY YOU SILLY GIRL!' I bellow at a quivering fourth year Hufflepuff blocking my path.<p>

She darts close to her group of friends, the look on her face screaming pure horror.

Snarling I sweep past them, shooting a look of pure malice at their scared faces.

Idiotic children, why did I agree to staying in this hell hole?

Oh yes I Severus Snape was ready to quit all right, but that blasted old fool managed to talk me out of it, calling me the finest Potions teacher Hogwarts had ever seen.

I clench my fists, resisting the urging slam one of them into the stone wall.

Marching down the flight of stairs, I reach my chamber door and almost kick it open. The door crashes into the wall, causing a portrait frame to shudder.

'Colloportus' I mutter over my shoulder, heading over to where I keep my firewhiskey.

Pouring myself a large glass, I recline in my favourite armchair, appreciating the warm glow resonating inside me after a large sip.

I let my thoughts slip back to my conversation with Dumbledore and clutch the glass in anger.

'_Severus I have some news for you' The old man looks at me over his half moon glasses, his eyes twinkling._

_I feel my stomach drop, not liking the excited tone in his voice, which usually means something that will cause me a great deal of distaste._

'_The golden trio will be returning to Hogwarts' _

_It appears today is no exception._

'_Headmaster?' I cock my head to the side questioningly, resisting all urge to throttle the elderly man in front of me._

_He smiles at me, his damn eyes still twinkling._

'_Well Harry and his friends never got the chance to finish their education four years ago'_

_I snort 'Yes I'm sure the past four years have been extremely taxing for the group that they couldn't have spared a year to complete their magical studies'._

_Dumbledore pats my arm sympathetically and I bite down hard, trying hard not to wrench my arm away from his touch._

'_Now now Severus, times have been tough for them'_

_I open my mouth to protest but he holds up his hand stopping me._

'_Let me finish, times have been tough for them you cannot deny that' I raise my eyebrow but the man continues 'I know it may have seemed as if the fame had gone slightly to Harry's head but he was completely fine when I met him the other day, he is committed to working hard'._

_I scowl thinking back to the stories I had read in the Prophet about saint bloody Potter, a different girl on his arm every week at one point._

'_Mr Weasley, has matured and needs to complete his N.E.W.T's in Transfiguration and Defence Against The Dark Arts so he will be doing a reduced timetable'._

'_A reduced timetable?' I spit_

_A hint of impatience flashes on Dumbledore's face, causing me to look away feeling slightly ashamed._

'_Yes Severus a reduced timetable. How could we turn away any witch or wizard that seeks help in their magical education?' He pauses, daring me to speak, I grit my teeth 'Now Miss Granger we will have to look out for, the poor girl has suffered from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder but is determined to return'._

_Looks like Granger finally found something she can't handle, I smirk to myself._

'_A shame' I say drily which earns me a glare from Dumbledore and I find myself apologising._

_Damn Dumbledore for making me feel like a child._

'_Miss Granger assures me that she is fine but I want you to keep a close eye on her Severus'_

_I glare in annoyance_

'_Why me? Surely Minerva would be better suited?'_

_Dumbledore raises himself to full height, but rather than being angry a small smile plays on the corner of his lips._

'_Because I asked you to' he says simply._

_I bow my head in understanding, not wanting to push it._

'_When do they return?' I ask, dreading the answer. _

_Dumbledore's eyes resume twinkling and I feel my stomach swoop again_

'_Tomorrow'._

I drain my glass, Harry Fucking Potter, Merlin how I loathe that ungrateful brat.

When The Dark Lord was defeated four years ago, the trio was propelled into further stardom.

Books were wrote, interviews were held, even a bloody broomstick was made in their honour.

Potter became the worlds most eligible bachelor on Witch Weekly's yearly list, with Weasley coming in at ninth place.

God how I hated that week, all I heard from those insufferable brats was about that damn list. I even came close to hexing one brainless Gryffindor who dared talk about it during one of my lessons.

I pour myself a second firewhiskey, and resume my seating position.

There were frequent reports in the Prophet about Potter's love life, even his rumoured habit of illegal drugs was reported. I remembered reading in glee, the thought of Potter fucking up his life, although the Daily Prophet was taken to the Ministry and sued for slander, so nobody knows if there was any truth in the story.

But I wouldn't have been surprised if there was…

I smirk to myself at the thought of Potter's demise, raising the glass to my lips.

Less stories however were printed about Weasley, the last I heard of him was that he was working along side his bratty twin brothers in that retched shop.

I take another sip of the amber liquid, racking my mind for thoughts of what Granger was up to. I turn a blank, not recalling any stories about the know-it-all.

My mind flickers back to what Dumbledore said about her having PTSD, and I feel a pang of guilt at my reaction.

I guess the girl really did get so shaken up by Voldemort's demise.

You wouldn't have thought it at the time, I muse.

After Potter casted the final spell, causing the evil bastard to disintegrate into oblivion.

Everyone stood in silence, shocked, unable to believe the sight in front of them.

Then there was a cry of joy from Granger, she rushed up to Potter smothering him in a hug, Weasley followed suit, soon everyone was cheering and crying, excitement penetrating the air.

I stood there, hidden by the stone ruins of the castle, it was then that the bushy haired Gryffindor broke the hug and turned to me, her eyes seeking mine in the darkness.

I recall feeling amazed that she knew I was there, lurking in the shadows, rejecting the celebrations before me.

She came over to me later in the evening, before I left for my chambers. Her cheeks rosy with jubilance.

'_Professor Snape! Are you okay? I can't believe we did it? Are you sure you're okay? How do you feel? Everyone is celebrating you should come over!' _

I glared at the girl, a familiar snarl settling on my face.

'_Leave me alone you irritating child, don't you have something better to be doing?'_

I remember seeing the confused hurt look in her face, her biting her lip in worry. Then she brought her shoulders back, rising to her full height a look of determination set in her face.

'_Forgive me for acting concerned Professor, I know you struggle with anyone caring for you. I just wanted to say thank you, because believe it or not I do actually care about you'._

Blinking in astonishment, not being able to believe what she just said to me.

Anger rose inside me, who did she think she was talking to me like that?

'_How dare you infer that you know me Miss Granger' _I stoop down to her level and stare into her brown eyes _'Do not pretend that you care, I do not appreciate lies'._

My voice is low and deadly, I expect her to burst into tears but she shoots me a look of pure hatred that could rival my own.

'_Thank you for everything you have done'. _She says coldly before turning on her heel, not giving me the chance to retaliate.

That was the last I saw of Granger, not that I'm complaining.

I dread what fresh hell awaits me tomorrow, Potter no doubt will be as arrogant as ever.

Finishing my second firewhiskey, I decide it's time to get into bed.

Climbing into bed, Granger's face flashes in my mind, the complete coldness in her eyes.

_Silly know-it-all_ is the last thing I think before drifting off into a deep sleep.

* * *

><p>'Merlin is that Harry Potter?'<p>

'OMIGOD is that Harry Potter?'

'Wow look at Ron Weasley!'

I storm through the great hall ignoring the loud whispers of students, refusing to look at the Gryffindor table.

No doubt all three of them are lapping up the attention.

Grinding my teeth, I sweep up the steps to the staff table wishing I could have avoided breakfast completely.

I sit down in my usual seat near the end of the table, as far away from Dumbledore as is possible.

'Morning Severus'

I inwardly groan, as Minerva McGonagall sits down beside me.

'Minerva' I respond curtly, reaching for the goblet of pumpkin juice.

'How are you this fine morning?' she asks me chirpily, I'm sure she is loving every moment of this.

Saint Potter and his friends returning back to Hogwarts to save the day.

I mutter that I'm fine, not even bothering to ask her how she is.

'Have you heard the news?' She jerks her head to the Gryffindor table, where Potter is scribbling something.

No doubt handing out autographs, the pompous little shit.

I turn to Minerva, and scowl.

I reply with a simple yes, but what I really wanted to tell her was to fuck off and stop taunting me, the old witch.

'Dumbledore informs me that you'll be watching over Miss Granger'

Taking a slice of toast I spread butter on it, not even wanting to give Minerva the satisfaction of a reply.

I'm fully aware of what she's trying to do, trying to coax me into a bad temper, just so she can laugh about it in the staff room later.

'The poor girl really has been through a lot, her parents don't even remember who she is' Minerva's voice is twinged with sadness but I narrow my eyes.

'It's her own fault. If the foolish girl hadn't obliterated their memory then she wouldn't be in that situation in the first place'

I bite down hard on the piece of toast, hoping that Minerva will soon piss off.

However I have no such luck as she leans towards me, lowering her voice.

'Strictly between you, me and Albus, there has been rumours over drug taking'.

I snort and swallow the mouthful of bread.

'It's hardly a secret what Potter's been up to' I say incredulously, rolling my eyes.

'I didn't mean Harry, I meant Hermione' the old witch hisses into my ear.

My eyes dart up, searching the table for the bushy haired girl and I finally see her, sitting at the table looking too thin, her face pale and withdrawn.

As if sensing my gaze she looks up, stares at me blankly, then glares at me with such malice, I feel the hairs on the back of my neck stand up.

Usually I would engage in a battle of wills, proving my superior authority but today I look away as if burnt.

'I thought Potter was the one with the drug habit?' I mummer, ignoring Granger's stare.

'I think he was covering for her' Minerva whispers, before standing up, repositioning her green hat. 'See you later Severus' she bows, whisking off.

I sit in silence, processing what McGonagall just told me.

Granger taking drugs?

Surely there has been some mistake, why would that prissy little know-it-all stoop to drug taking?

_The aftermath of what happened at Hogwarts did shake her_

But why?

When I saw Granger after the final battle, she was even more annoying than ever.

I didn't realise that it had affected her that badly that she would develop PTSD.

Guilt tingles inside me at my actions towards her.

I cannot be held responsible though, how would I know that the naive girl would turn to drugs to cope?

I finish my toast and peer at her through my black silky hair.

She is still sat there, unaware of my watching.

Potter and Weasley are there too being very animated, showing off to their fellow house I'm sure.

However Granger doesn't join in, she just looks at the boys with a small smile on her face, no emotion in her eyes.

I turn away, a feeling of shame runs through me.

It's not my fault, I chant over and over in my head.

I rise from the table, refusing to feel bad about Granger's current state.

Maybe the girl hasn't been taking drugs, after all it was just a rumour. I'm sure the child has more sense.

I stalk past the tables, glaring at any students that dare look at me.

As I approach where the trio are sat, Potter gets up.

'Severus' he holds out his hand, a confident smirk on his face.

Anger pulsates through me at his arrogance

'It's professor Snape to you' I snarl, refusing to take his hand.

He runs his hand through his messy hair, still smirking and I can hear tittles of laughter.

I step towards him, still able to tower down over him.

'Be careful Mr Potter just because you and your friends helped get rid of the Dark Lord does not mean you get special treatment'.

He lifts his chin up at me, staring me straight in the eyes

'I'm no longer a child Snape'

Insufferable little shit, oh how I wish I could curse an unforgivable right now.

'Child or not Mr Potter, whilst you are a student of this school you will obey the rules'

I narrow my eyes at him, daring him to respond.

'I'm not scared of you Snape'

I go to take ten points from Gryffindor when a timid voice interrupts.

Looking for the source of the intrusion, I see Granger standing up, her face tight with worry.

'Come on Harry let's go' she walks over to the little brat, disregarding me.

My face twitches, nobody ignores Severus Snape, I don't care what the girl has been through.

'Twenty points from Gryffindor for disrespecting a teacher' I hiss at the pair of them.

I sneer, hoping to fetch a further reaction from Potter so I could round the number up to thirty.

However it's not Potter's reaction that stuns me it's Granger's, she finally looks at me a hardness to her face. Looking me up and down with disgust, she turns back to Potter who is trying to look macho and tells him to ignore me.

Even though her voice is quiet, the group around us suddenly go silent with bated breath.

What did she just say?

I clench my fist, resisting all temptation to reach into my robes for my wand and cursing the little fuckers.

She blinks in surprise but her face hardens again.

I move closer to the girl, giving her my most evil glare and I see the determination slip off her face.

Ha.

'Oh dear Miss Granger we're not getting off to a good start, perhaps a detention is needed to remind you how to treat your superiors'

She swallows a lump in her throat and breaks eye contact, a terrified look on her face.

'Y-Yes sir' she stammers and I step away from her.

'You will serve detention with me tomorrow night at 7 o'clock. Do not be late'

I give one last glare at Potter before stalking off.

Once I reach my empty classroom and write the instructions on the board, I find myself wondering whether I was too harsh on Granger.

Christ only knows what Dumbledore would do to me if he found out that I managed to scare the girl within her being here for half an hour.

However she was rude to me, and I cannot let that slide. I don't want those little brats thinking I've gone soft.

I sit down at my desk and pinch the bridge of my nose, confused to as whether I should have treated Granger a bit better.

Perhaps I should have a word with Dumbledore? Explain the situation to him, surely he would agree that what I did was right?

I look down at the stack of marked papers in front of me trying to clear my head of Granger's scared face.

_You're meant to be keeping an eye on her not reducing her to quivering mess._

I breathe in deeply, and leaf through the papers determined to distract myself from my guilt.

Reaching Edmund Walters paper I see that I had given the dunce a P in a moment of generosity. Scowling at the big red letter I scratch it out and replace it with a D.

I feel satisfied with my actions, after all there is no way that little dolt deserves anything higher than a T really.

Grabbing the timetable on my desk, I look through todays schedule and my heart skips.

I have my N.E.W.T class last period, which can only mean one thing.

Potter and Granger.

I slam the parchment back on my desk and move it out of my sight.

Merlin how I could do with a fire whiskey right now.


End file.
